iA

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze if that's the measure you must take to crush the idols.

Jerk the pews and all the decorations, too until the congregations few, then have revival.

Tell your friends that this is where the party ends until you're broken for your sins, you can't be social.

Then seek the Lord and wait for what he has in store and know that great is your reward so just be hopeful.

Take a break from all the plans that you have made and sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper.

Beg Him please to open up His mouth and speak and pray for real upon your knees until they blister.

Shine the light on every corner of your life until the pride and lust and lies are in the open.

Then read the word and put to test the things you've heard until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken.

we must not worship something that's not even worth it

clear the stage, make some space for the one who deserves it.

anything I put before my God is an idol.

anything I want with all my heart is an idol.

anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.

anything that I give all my love is an idol.

I can sing all I want to and still get it wrong, worship is more than a song.

Clear the Stage-Jimmy Neddham

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Wow.
I did not know what I was getting into when I decided to dive into this bible study…

I'm fairly new to the world of women's bible studies. I've done one online course through Good Morning Girls (which was Ahhh-mazing!) and one more at Shades last semester. I'm not sure what took me so long to understand that involvement in bible studies are vital to my soul's growth. I think of it like actual food I take in for my soul. I feel slow but steady transformation.

You see, before I was an excuse giver. I just 'didn't have time'. 'I just couldn't handle life as it was and to add the demands of a bible study…no way.' (actual words I spoke MANY times to my sister) Plus, I felt intimidated. I often do due to my insecurities. but that is for another blog post, some other day! All the women in those rooms already know each other & I felt that a neon arrow might as well be pointing towards the lie that I didn't fit in there.

The online Bible Study was safe. I could find time at home. For a while I thought that would be enough. Then after the Bible Study ended, I felt dry. I thirsted for more. When a girl I had just met texted me about one she was attending last semester, I felt the urge to just ignore those anxious lies and push myself to be 'uncomfortable'. It was great. I am SO glad that I got involved. Jesus the King by Tim Keller was the study and I truly learned so so much!

Well, in December, I felt the Lord pushing me to uproot my church family at Shades and look elsewhere to plant new roots. After talking it through and praying with Clint, we decided after the holidays we would start our search. We started our search by going to Dawson. LOVE what I found there. We already found a Sunday School that we feel peace in. Dr. Fenton speaks strong, convicting sermons that really give my soul wholesome food. I don't think I've seen a person that hasn't come up to me and introduced themselves. I think we found our 'home.'

So anyways, back to iA…I really really felt intimidated about finding my way to this bible study that I read about in their brochure. Brand new to visiting this big church, I didn't know a soul going to this study…I remember telling Clint that first morning that I just wasn't going. I was way to anxious. He urged me to go & so I did. I prayed told God on my way that if He didn't give me insight as to how to figure out where to take Parker and how to find the room then I was leaving. Well, upon parking, a young girl with a toddler asked me randomly if I was headed to Idol Addiction. (there were at least 6 other bible studies going on at the same time). hmmmm. The shock of that 'coincidence' verifies and amplifies my lack of faith that God actually never leaves me and that I am heard. Faith. A word that my sister describes as my strongest spiritual gift. My sister, who knows me VERY well. I say that because, even my 'strongest' spiritual gift is not apparent at times and this reveals the ugly truth that while I believe in God, I obviously don't believe Him.

I have heard 3 bible studies now on this 'idol addiction'. wow. It has changed me. Truly, changed me. I am seeing so much about the simplicity of this world and my calling in this fallen world. I am hearing the years of 'if only I could find a solution to problem A, B, & C, then I would be happy' that I continuously put poor Clint through. So far I've learned this about myself. I am acting like an orphan in this world constantly spinning out of control when I have a loving, giving & kind Father with His arms wide open, grieving that I don't see him.

Jesus promised much in His time on earth, one of which was that we would see problems. We would suffer. Why are we shocked to see problems. Why do we constantly dive into self pity, feeling entitled or anger towards God? We are not called to 'fix' our problems. We are called to focus our eyes on the HOPE in more.

Just for one second, focus on life beyond this world, beyond this tiny section in time, beyond the now, and see if possessions, pride, status, money, perfection, comparisons, etc don't seem a tiny bit more insignificant.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.