God's Promise Sky

As a little girl one of my most prominent memories is hearing my mom speak of God's "promise sky".  I have so many memories flood my head of going through troubled times and then seeing the most amazing sight-a sky truly painted by our great creator himself. My mom would ooooh and ahhh over it while speaking to me of our savior and His promise of never leaving us or forsaking us. She would tell me whenever she saw this sky, she felt warmth, love, joy and peace-no matter the circumstance. As a family, this past Tuesday (the day before burying my beloved grandmother) this is the beautiful 'promise sky' God painted on his grand canvas.  

Grandmommy is now dancing upon the great streets of gold, reunited with her husband, parents, and brother as of Saturday night. She is now able to breathe freely and know no more pain. In some ways, I am so extremely joyful yet in so much pain. This past week has forced me to reflect on my life and my true purpose. Why am I so selfish? I am so rigid with routine, errands and 'my time'. I fill my mind with so much meaningless stuff-mainly material stuff I want and things that need to be done, and memories that I want to create...I have come to realize that my main focus is making Kate happy. Anything that causes discomfort is pushed away or avoided at all costs.

I realized this week that one entire generation has moved on in my family and I now fill the spot my mother has filled for the past 26 years. Funny as it may sound, I think it is finally sinking in that I am a mother and my mother is a grandmother. How did I get here? Where did my youth go? 

More than anything, God gave me an insightful gift with the passing of my sweet Grandmother. A gift that hopefully will not swift by but will dwell within me for the remainder of time I am left on this earth. I am not here to be comfortable. I am here, as a child of God, to glorify Him. I am here for the sole purpose of bringing him glory. Life is so short and before I know it I will be in the 'grandparent' generation. I am now seeing my life through new eyes. Eyes that yearn to soak up each and every moment of every single day. Eyes that desperately want to make a difference for my Father while I am here on earth. Eyes that see selfishness and long to for once be selfless.