Sensory Processing

This summer has been a long one.  I have debated back and forth about sharing this part of our world online. I've decided it is time. I really don't like being negative, or even elaborating on hard times. This is our family blog and I write for future reflection and enjoyment, however, I am learning that this condition we are facing with our sweet girl is not something that necessarily has to be negative. Yes, it is challenging. The days are very long. Who I am growing to be through this, only God knows. The Lord is with me. I feel it some days more than others! Even on those days I don't feel Him, I know he is there--listening, caring, watching...

After all, God is sovereign. he is all powerful and knows every single thing we will face. He has been there before we have. God knows what He is doing when He allows us to face difficulty or suffering. I have, and continue to, build God as my foundation. I trust Him in pain, confusion and loneliness. 

So, what does Sensory Processing Disorder look like for us? Inconsistency. Confusion. Meltdowns. Exhaustion. Patience. Compassion. Empathy. Love. Heartache. 

At about 2, we noticed some stuff that caused some frustration (and I use that word loosely) for Blakely--mainly food and clothes. At about 3, we noticed the meltdowns over those things intensifying, with added frustrations over hair and noise. At 4, the meltdowns continued and we were then comparing what everyone agreed as 'normal 2 and 3 year old behavior' to our then 2 year old Parker. They weren't even in the same ball park. My little princess wanted desperately to play dress up and couldn't handle the way the costumes felt. {enter heartache} All food caused sheer anxiety-Chick-fil-a, mac and cheese, even pizza. She was beyond 'picky' she would shake and panic when she even saw certain foods. When Parker turned 3 and Blakely turned 5, we knew things just weren't right. We needed help. 

After about two weeks of evaluations, what we predicted to be the cause of struggle became our 'diagnosis'. SPD. Overall, the OTs are telling us that B is extremely smart and is very high functioning...She just needs quite a bit of therapy to get her little neurons running smoothly to the brain. At this point things are just misfiring. The thing is with Blakely, currently the meltdown and reactions are only exposed to those people in her 'comfort circle'. If you were to see her out, you would have no idea. She might have a meltdown and you would just roll your eyes and think...that I need to get better control over my kid. I've been told by multiple people that consistent discipline is key to getting her not have meltdowns...Yes, for a normal child--this is true. In our case, it is not. I do wish so much that there was better awareness out there that not all disabilities are physical, but I digress.

So where are we now? We are currently and have been seeing an OT as well as a Speech therapist. Currently it takes Blakely up to 15 seconds to even process a command. At this point she cannot follow two step commands. "Blakely go get your shoes and make up your bed". 15 seconds to process the shoe command and the bed thing--not even heard. So you can imagine, as the mom of a 5 year old, how many times I have disciplined and lost it with frustration. If only I knew...but I didn't and now I do. As for now, scripture is my map, the Holy Spirit is my guide. I am not alone, no matter how desperately the enemy wants me to feel that way. Everywhere I turn in the word I see God fearing, beloved believers feeling trampled by troubles...so may I cry out like David "For troubles surround me--too many to count! My sins pile up so high I can't see my way out. They outnumber the hairs on my head. I have lost all courage. Please, LORD, RESCUE ME! Come quickly, Lord, and HELP ME! (Psalm 40:12.} and put a stop to all those lies the enemy loves for me to believe.

The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

"being strengthened with all His glorious power so that you will have all the endurance and patience you need." Colossians 1:11

"be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"The Lord is trustworthy in all He promises and faithful in all He does." Psalm 145:13

"I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep HIS LOVE IS." Ephesians 3:16

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:12

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord aways, for the Lord God is the ETERNAL ROCK". Isaiah 26

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes.

So there it is. Our current battle. and boy is it a tough one.

Please, pray with me on our transition to Kindergarten!